Don't Read This

Ahhh... whatever... {-;

I don't
really think this is exactly what I need. If you don't know what it's like to want things you don't wanna want, you ain't gonna have any idea what the hekk I'm talkin' 'bout though.

Sorry... Bad attitude kinda week.

[Link]"This is the first time we can show you can erase long-term memories this way," Sacktor said.

Sacktor and his collaborators worked on rats trained to avoid a shock zone on a rotating platform. If they received an injection of a chemical dubbed ZIP into the hippocampus one day to one month after they learned to keep away from the shock zone, they no longer shunned it.

"It doesn't have an effect on short-term memory, and afterward they can continue to store long-term memories," Sacktor said.

Bear and his colleagues experimented in rats trained to avoid a shock zone in a darkened area of a box. Using an electrode array that enabled Bear and his collaborators to listen in on many places in the hippocampus at the same time, they eavesdropped on the hard-to-detect synaptic strengthening take place.

"This same process might be hijacked in psychiatric diseases, such as anxiety disorders and even depression," Bear said. "What is cool is that we know how to reverse some of the changes we measure after learning, which suggests the possibility of new treatments."

(emphasis mine)

I had some a-hole psychiatrists pull the old ECT on me 4 years ago when I'd "given up" and gone into Lakewood Hospital Psych care, rather than mopin' around the place feeling worser than the worst cuz I couldn't pull the trigger, so to speak. It did nothing that a good trip couldn't do, and lasted barely a few days longer as well. None the less, I avoid "self-medicating" for the most part. Mostly cuz they add financial stresses I just don't need, and I don't notice any big difference when I'm on a binge.

What I'm getting at is that I understand nutters, and folks who cling to ideas - despite their insanity - because those somehow make them feel a little better.

I've been trying to get off this stupid road since High School, and occasionally manage to get "normal" for a few years at a time. There
has always been somethin' to bring me back to this track though, and as usual, I'm sick of it. I'm not stupid. I'm simply more muthaf***in' messed up than muthaf***in' snakes on a muthaf***in' plane.

But I'm not givin' up, eh.

Even if a helluvalotta folks wish people like me just would already.


  1. Oh, no we don't want you to give up. Don't let that be even an option. Just keep on keepin on and things will begin to turn, slowly at first and then one day, you'll get up and realize that life is sweeter than you ever thought.

    No kidding - my word verification is
    moftra - just sounds like it shoud go with snakes, that's all.

  2. we love you, MB!

    What I'm getting at is that I understand nutters, and folks who cling to ideas - despite their insanity - because those somehow make them feel a little better.
    yeah... totally. (i'm one of them, though a little better than i used to be)

    and that article is interesting, because it might even help moi, though i'm only feeling bad 10% of the time nowadays. it would be good to have the 10% back.

  3. If I ever get that albino Boa I've considered, maybe I'll name it Moftra, eh. Or a parrot. Hmm..

    You guys are great! {-;

    I went to laugh at a stupid movie with a friend who tells me the same thing; I'm better than I feel. And I LAUGH with her! So is all good. Just wish I could .. change some thought habits based 'pon things I learned very early on, that's all.

  4. honey, i think all of us are skewed- some are in denial and others let it all hang out. you should never give up- especially if others may want you to. that means that they are up to something and want you out of the way- and are too chicken to have you whacked. i happen to be stubborn and the more people want me to do something- the more i won't. looks like you'll just have to stick around and keep fighting the good fight! :)

  5. Ahh a recurring rough spot? Those stink.

    I agree on the less than eager self medicating. I mean I think it's great that when people need it, in pill form it's there.But I also know quite a few people who have been misdiagnosed.

    As for other self medicating (I know a few that favor jack daniels..eek!)Sometimes it's good in low doses.

    Like shrinks...sometimes their good in low doses...sometimes they screw you up more...

    but no no no Mr. Bains, tell me how YOU feel about it?

    Oh I'm so glad they've learned to do more things to rats. (embittered vegetarian alert!)

  6. Diggit, 'Nilla!

    I've got to be pro-Animal testing UNTIL we've developed computer tech to the point where Human Brain Simulators are accurate, precise and reliable enough for the critter destruction to have far less efficacy.

    The only other thing that would put me off animal testing is if we were to actually stop abusing and misusing each other as well. I'm thinkin' the computer scenario will play out LOOOONG before THAT happens though.

  7. Hope you are hanging in there and feeling better. Fasten your safety belt for the rough patches. The pendulum eventually swings the other way. wheeeee. Life is a ride, sometimes a scary ride.

  8. as a bipolar nut of the first order as well as a psychologist...hang in there...our current tratment of "mental illness" is no better than the old snake pits....soon(i hope and pray)" mental illness" will be treated as the physiological, genetic, chemical imbalance that it truly is...i just hope i live ling enough to see it...

  9. RAmen, Cady! You hang in there as well, eh.

    I hate how much worse it always gets before gettin' better though... freakin' A, eh.


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