I Never . . . I Never . . .

So I had this dream where I kissed my friend, lightly, on the lips. No biggy, right? She asked me, "why?" and kissed me again, the same way. Then again...

I got cold sweats and woke up.

There's nothing there. Not like that anyway.

I'm back to thinking 'bout goin' to the UU church my sister attends. I simply need more friends...


  1. Friends as lovers are the best. A best friend and a lover is superior to anything in the world.

  2. Nothing so frightening as discovering our own vulnerability.

    But I'm not gonna go there. My ass is still smarting where it was recently bitten by the foolishness of that same thing.

    Nonetheless, the way requires an open heart, doesn't it?

    And as one of my favorite writers, Pema Chodron, insists, we must "go to the places that scare" us.

    Peacechick is quite right. I guess my question in reviewing the dream might be, well, why not?

    Wishing you a happy unfolding.


  3. I have always heard good things about the Uus but have never made it to one of their services here in the mtns- I think- but i am not sure I went to one once in Mississippi. It was pretty far out.

  4. I've had such experience twice before, Mary y Mando, and they were both divine! lol! For a time...

    For a few reasons, both hers and mine, this won't be one of them. Is good. Just, well, as I've relayed to her, frustrating, if ya know what I mean. But...

    Ironically, we got a chance to prove what good friends we are last night.

    There was a "hostage situation" on my street and the Police made everyone on a 4 block stretch to evacuate our buildings. What the ?!?!?!

    I was (stupidly?) thinking 'bout canceling our movie already, but when mi amiga called at 6:30 and I was sitting in a restaurant (with another evacuee from two blocks away from my place) she suggested we just meet across the street for drinks so we chilled at the gay club for a few hours whilst I kept calling the Po Dept to see whawuzzup. By 'bout 12:30 I still couldn't go back and the cops said folks were staying at City Hall. Oy vey!!!

    My friend put me up for the night. And I was fine.

    She's a great friend, even better than I was thinking cuz of how I'm feeling and that is exactly what I need of her. I am exactly and comfortably Myself around her, in great part because we're not romantically inclined. It's how I am 'round guys and married women. It's where there's an op to be rejected that I revert to my HS self and "cold sweats", once again, do make themselves felt.

    Pathetic? Well, yeah! {shakin'head} None-the-less, is what I'm learning, once again, for the third or fourth time in my life how to handle. Hopefully this time, I can do right, and get overwhelmed and get married if there's a freaking rational slew of doubts like were ignored/over ridden the last two times.

    Is a plan, eh.

    Kinda like the UU thing. On that one, I may just be too lazy to drive there at 11 on Sunday morning. We'll see.

  5. I was going to say that you do NOT want to go to a church to find friends.

    But then I did a quick search on Unitarian Universalists and they aren't as insane as other god botherers.

    Still what about running clubs, cycling clubs, libraries, book clubs and a pile of other places where people get together?

  6. This UU actually has a weekly atheists meeting, but I'm still being "lazy" outta some kind o' BS fear. My sister's new beaux actually runs it, and if I'd met him already I'd probably just go. Gotta call her cuz the thing is really doing Any Of It on my own. No matter which kind of club.

    I know that gettin' married both times was, in too large a part, because I'm lazy, aka, afraid of doing stuff, like, ummm, living, on my own.

    So - ta da! - I'm basically alone!

    Is a prime example of why I cut so many other silly humans the benefit of the doubt, even when pointing out how effin' messed up they can be.

    Stew, dude! Thanks for commenting here. You just reminded me that I'm gettin' m'self "wound too tight" again. LOL!

    I think that'll help me relax as much as last night will.

    Alright... time to chill. I did drink a li'l too much last night. Haven't done that in a while so my gut's a feelin' it.


  7. "It's where there's an op to be rejected that I revert to my HS self and "cold sweats", once again, do make themselves felt.

    Pathetic? Well, yeah!"

    Why 'pathetic'?
    I mean, duh - we all behave very ourselves and self-assured when nothing is at stake, and when we do not need to impress. Once romance gets in the recipe, we become stuttering and stumbling idiots and break new records in uttering and doing the most idiotic things. (been there, done that, way too many times... The JohnnyB can attest). Pathetic. No.
    Very SH? Probably,
    Hope the hostage situation was ended well - you live a very bloggable life, I have to say!
    Like, all we have is a sick monitor (yup, still - and it IS the monitor that's screwed up", and here you are, with a full-blown hostage on the street...

    We're not worthy!

  8. LOL! Apparently naught did come of it. Least ways (wise?) I hope so. I haven't heard and, even though I intended to scope the Local News, I'd forgotten already. D'oh!

    Think I'll do that when I get to work.

    Good luck with that replacement to the replacement for the original malfunctioning monitor which got dusted, eh.


  9. So I had this dream where I kissed my friend, lightly, on the lips. No biggy, right? She asked me, "why?" and kissed me again, the same way. Then again...

    There's something so beautiful in the way you wrote that, MB. It just sounds so sweet.

    On a different note...I'm glad you weren't taken hostage.



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