Sometimes I Don't Know-oh . .

Here is the crux of my self-concept.

Here is where I falter, regardless of the nature of my soul.

"Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak."
~ Thomas Carlyle


Consistency. Whatever anyone else sees, I struggle with an abundance of it in parts of my life I want dampened, muffled, salved or healed. I want consistencies elsewhere in my life. In mental movements which reach into the future and adjust my path as I go, instead of being drawn along by pathmaking entities which I fail to appreciate, much less want to understand.

I feel like I'm made of mush. Mind so often in the same sort of flux as the water in a wave ride, my body has formed an ugly sack of mostly water which is too disoriented from any singular purpose, that I bounce from familiar, comfortable wall to wall. My intentions dislodged with every new decision and the very passing of time.

Lyving with me is a maelstrom of nothing making matters momentous seem small, and personal anticipations, enormous.

Let sleep
drown me tonight
In solitary
confinement which
a self-imposed slight

Where no where can
distract my plans
and take from me the light
It's wonderful
to lose it all
when nothing makes it right

But I'm wonderin'
can I get it all inside
Is it happenin'
am I arisen from the night
And still I'm just not sure
there's too much in my sight

Enjoy...

Comments

  1. From one personally evolving orgamism to another, remember the strength that may lie in weakness.

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  2. I'm not the me that I was just a little while ago, and I'm glad.

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  3. Iree Ms. 'Itsme. Thank you. :)

    Sometimes I'm glad. Sometimes not so much. Is a good point to remember though, Frederick. Sometimes I am.

    {-;

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  4. We can always say we are consistent in our inconsistencies. When it comes down to things that truly matter, you are most likely quite consistent. I have also been consistent in my demons and it took a mile of inconsistency to take them off their well rutted track.

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  5. A good friend recently shared,

    the humble is the mighty
    the supple the strong
    the low the highest
    the dull the brightest
    one having less has more
    the salt is the true diamond


    I like the idea of the supple being strong. What happens to a tree that doesn't bend in the wind?

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  6. " The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run
    murmuring to the sea;

    And the treasure of your infinite depth would be revealed
    to your eyes.

    But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;

    And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff
    or sounding line.

    For self is a sea boundless and measureless."

    kahlil gibran

    E of wotv

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  7. Have you thought about submitting that piece to The Poetry Man's Saturday Sonata? It's awfully good.

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  8. It's difficult NOT to feel conflicted these days.

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  9. Let me say how much I enjoy you all.

    Yo! namaste, eh.

    {-:-}

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  10. Adorable GirflriendFebruary 28, 2007 1:01 PM

    Just don't shave your head, cupcake!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think today's post was from weakness, Beep. Hmm, and that it came off pretty strengthily, eh. :} Thanks again.

    Head shaving may or may not be in the works AG. Quirks. Ya know? {-;

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  12. Adorable GirlfriendMarch 01, 2007 1:09 AM

    Don't do it. You will regret us taking out the photos with the hair and talking smack about you.

    Don't do it. Playah.

    ReplyDelete

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