Friday, December 01, 2006

Oh! My Beleaguered Genitalia!

Well, maybe not mine. I am over 40, after all . . .
Sex Will Make You Go Blind
Single? Under 30? You are in grave danger. Your government says so.

Please, stop laughing

I think I get it now.

The latest pitiable GOP plan, from what I can tell, goes something like this: To make it all so absurd, to make the remaining Bush administration proposals and doctrines and cultural stratagems so outlandish and silly and degrading and insulting to your mind and your heart and your very own beleaguered genitalia that you cannot help but take note of their existence and laugh and cringe and sit back and go, Oh my God these people have got to be kidding.


At which point (they hope) you will turn to your spouse or your significant other or your dog and say, Hey honey, check this out, did you see the latest moronic and horrible dictum from the Bush administration? We should totally try it, just for kicks!


Then the GOP will gloat and say: See? The world still loves the GOP! Yay us! And then they shall proceed to smack themselves in the face with a brick.


It is the only viable explanation. It is the only way to account for something like, say, the latest twist in the Abstinence Education Program from Bush's increasingly laughable Department of Health and Human Services, a $50 million slice of embarrassing government detritus that is now actually encouraging all states to tell their single, youngish residents that they should -- how to put this so you don't shoot coffee through your nose? -- that everyone should avoid sex entirely, until they turn 30.


See? See your reaction? You are like: No way. You are like: Is the United States government really saying that? You are like: Laughter, a smirk, maybe a shrug and a sigh and a sad shake of the head and another glass of wine because, you know, what the hell is wrong with these people?


Maybe you think I am making this up. Maybe you think that our fair government, as sad and lost and nipple-terrified as it is, can't seriously be suggesting that, to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy and unchecked misery in their obviously sad and irresponsible little lives, single people under 30 should not have sex, like, ever. And maybe not even then.


You would, of course, be wrong.

[For the rest of the tale . . . ]

Whilst there sho be plenty o' things 'bout which I have absolutely No Problem being wrong, as a Sapient animal of about average intelligence, I've watched this political Psycho Circus in action for way too long now to have any doubts as to the depths of anti-intellectualism which they will go.

Aaaahhh . . . I wrote then deleted a little more, but this Admin's shtick is just too sick and sickening for me to belabor the points too much. If only "abstinence" from W Watching wouldn't leave us more entrenched in archaic and reactionary policies then we already are, I'd gladly partake of that particular non-perversion. As it is . . . Eyes open, peoples! This whackjob and his Hired Goons, loons and other cartoonish appointees have got TWO MORE YEARS to "minister" to our nations needs.

Unless the 110th finds the will-power and strength of character to do the Right Thing, and Impeach this bafoon and his closest, most relevant familiars.


Thanks to mi amigo, Pickled Punk, for the linkage. I know that abstinence is working, well, not so well, but nearly just as non-voluntarily for him as it is for me lately, but Hey! We
could, maybe, possibly, have sex at some point over the next two years! With women even!

Really!


{-;

8 comments:

  1. It's getting to the point where the GOP and GOP proposals are too absurd to waste keystrokes on...but let me address something else you said:

    Well, maybe not mine. I am over 40, after all . . ..

    I should point out that you are in danger but from a number of maladies that are entirely different than going blind. Those emails I get every day tell me so. ;-)

    (Crossed the 40 boundary--280 in frog years--myself recently.)

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  2. I am shattered with agony.
    Being over 40 as well, reading your post made me realize that I must be blind!
    What an excruciating realization!!!

    I mean, the GOP must be right, no?
    Otherwise, what are they doing up there??
    I mean, aren't they there to pursue the well-being of the citizens?

    But wait - - - I am not a citizen yet!
    Ah, glorious miracle!!
    I can see again!!!

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  3. Iree, Nava. It was strange to be able to see again when I traveled to Canadia. It was almost, not quite, but almost like I still had a chance to regain my virginousity.

    Alas... Crossin' thru back into Buffalo all went to darkness. Been that way ever since.

    {sigh}

    Can frogs find reading glasses at Walgreen's, Kvatch? Cuz the chimp models, well, they just provide a rosy blur. It's easier drivin' with some of these monkeys - especially in fun weather, on Faith, don't ya know.

    {-;

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  4. I understand they are making it retroactive so if you did have sex before 30, you get penalized. Maybe you are in the penalty box. Bust out!

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  5. These people are fucking morons, they're the ones who shouldn't be having sex, at all, ever, nada.

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  6. Fred's right! They are the ones that should not be having sex...(with children no doubt)...ever!

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  7. wow....Fred - please tell us how you really feel ? .....and yet I totally agree with him word for word....

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  8. Y'all are awesome. {-;

    And it would certainly be nice if the nutjobs wouldn't breed, but that's evolution for ya. Who can, will.

    {sighhhh}

    ReplyDelete