A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

That's just something I've seen emailed around a few times in the last 7 or 8 years. When my bro emailed it to me this morning, the shit made me freakin' tear-up so I thought I'd share it.


er, I mean, Thanks Leebee!


  1. Hey MB
    What a refeshing change of pace. I had not yet seen this story. it cuts to the chase. I Like that!
    Perfect timing as well, I just made an exhausting attempt to blow dry my fella; however, he managed to wedge himself behind the toilet unit. Wish I could have flashed a picture.
    thanks for sharing this

    N a ma s t e ,

  2. Ha! Wish I'd had that when I was 12 to hand a certain nun in catechism class.

    Another kid had just asked if you could play football in heaven and the nun said yes. So I thought, "Wow! If they allow, say, dead pigskin in heaven, I bet they'd take my dog!" But when I raised my hand to ask, it was a definite no on the dog.

  3. I hear ya Paul (I completely approve of the Halo btw! LOL!) You know my take that Heaven is a state of mind but even if 'twere a real destination, who in their right mind (???) could imagine a land without dogs; pets at any rate? And for Eternity???

    Seems like some folks really need to put a little more "thought" into their belief systems...

  4. I don't know if this changes anything, bu tthat story is actually a Twilight Zone episode. Here's a link:

  5. ...that story is actually a Twilight Zone episode.

    Very coolish! Thanks for the link!

    It seems that the T-Zone episode and the e-story are simply retellings of the same ancient meme. Serling was a Great Master of this art.

    doo doo - doo doo, doo doo - doo doo, doo doo - doo doo...

  6. I assume if dead pigskin's ok but live dogs aren't, then leather's ok but cows aren't; fur boas & hats are ok but live foxes, raccoons, beavers, etc., aren't. ... In other words, they're planning a heaven that has no other lifeforms but humans.

    Blech. I'll pass.

  7. Sheesh, hasn't anyone read Sylvia Browne's new book about animals going to heaven? I know she's right...and gnomes might fly out of my butt...


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