a short story

so short, this story
so long in the writing
such a silly little thought
in such a silly little persona

Once upon some time ago
I lost a bet to a long lost bro
and he felt compelled
to impel me to pay up
and of course
being a man of honor
in a time so very lacking in such
I did

Once the deed was done I found
my mind was lost like winter sun
and a whole lot of feelings
had begun to steal away my focus
away to lands I do not know
in time with beats of a heart gone slow
like death

Once I realized my fate
and panic shook its ugly weight
upon the balance of my thoughts
I'd lost all sense of rhythm
to that old chaotic master fear
and since it was there another beer
to see if I could feel less fear
but no

Once the future came to me
and yesterday too far to see
I left open doors to close alone
regardless of unfinished business
No fair and balanced approaches
could remove what all I'd seen and done
and only tropical delusions
could prepare my broken mine
to live

Once I fed a lonesome dream
of demon spawn which bled my heart
it led me back into the blazing
misery of something that I wanted
It fell all over itself to sing me
into slumbers where it could devour me
and all I ever wanted to do was let it
have my heart and soul and
be it

Once I believed in happy endings
but now I know they're only pretending
to be as loathesome and
disgustingly appropriate for
a cellmate of Bubba the Biker
a lifelong tenant of Rykers
and a friend to anyone who cared
about the shit inside me head
but no

Now I feel a lot of other things
Now I feel like shit is happening
Now I constantly real and come again
Now I pleasantly bleed past gory
glories
no more hoping for something
and no more believing in something
wrong but right in all its storied
bullshit

Once a boy was happy to help her
and thought he was a good little brother
even though he knew nothing
like Jon Snow before Winter
he gladly gave her all that she asked of him
his little, timid body trying
with his soul dying to be a Good Boy
to do anything to be a Good Boy
he would live with no knowledge
of sin

Once upon a time
a story began
and
Once upon a time
every story has an ending
if happiness is possible
or less than that desirable
a child of life should try
to be the best he can and
no more