Growth of a Homo Sapien

Change is harder for some of us than for others.

I have been working - working hard - to change how I live. I have this one life. I have this only mind I shall ever be granted by the biological fact of my parents sexual relationship with one another. I have mishandled so many opportunities in this one life that I often forget - completely forget! - that I have also succeeded against some incredible odds in taking myself, my life, beyond the lies, fabrications and disingenuities that
, as a child, I was told were the reality in which I must live.

I have given quite alot of thought lately to writing a profoundly accurate autobiography. My determination not to do so has a legal basis which, though I despise its relevance for what it says about my life, I must integrate into every decision I make from here onward. In other words, I know what I want to be but am still practicing being such. I've hated practice for most of my life because it means that I am not already adept at the skill I need to practice. I am extremely capable of many things; some acts of thought and others of body. This gives me hope for the life my parents gave me and which so many people - starting with them and ALWAYS INCLUDING myself - have corrupted, violated, neglected and abused.

I don't know how the practice of my life will ultimately be judged by the laws of nature. I know that I could not care less how the laws of my species will adjudicate it. I know that I wish to conform to the former and I will continue to attempt to understand the latter without letting my emotions manipulate my own thoughts into the wild morass of confusion to which I have all too often let them - my thoughts - degenerate.

There is hope. I've seen it human beings with more physically devastating handicaps than mine overcome them and decipher nature's laws for their personal use. I've seen it demonstrated by people who claim no faith as well as by some who claim divine assistance. I know that it can be accomplished by this sad and silly human.

I'm very proud - a rare emotion for me - to have had many readers comment appreciatively on this blog. Hopefully, I will make this a better site again. For now, silliness, and the occasional rant, will be the main publications of my state of mind. Losing readers will negate neither my desire nor my activity to be truthful and relevant to my own life as a homo sapien sapien in the cultural milieu of my species. I write this blog for me. It is mine.

I think that humans make the overwhelming majority of their own luck. I wish me luck and am determined to make it too. I am not ready yet to cease existing.

I live. I will. I grow.


  1. To me, anyone who struggles as honestly with themselves as they can with this stuff is on the right trsck, whatever concepts and labels they apply to themselves and their view of the world. I place a very high value on honesty. I guess you could say that to me it's a core spiritual value, if we could divest the word "spiritual" of what to me are it's many flawed connotations...

    So struggle on!

    Speaking of "luck," or randomness, or chance, this concept's come up in comments to my post today. I wish I knew more about science, because it looks like a lot of religious people may not believe in chance.

    But I do know there's something called the "uncertainty principle," and that at the quantum level, you can only make statistical predictions... if I even said that right...

    Anyway, I personally find the ideas of statistics, probability and chance more compelling than an unseen hand of God deciding whether a flipped coin lands on heads or tails...

  2. I am always finding, well maybe looking for the errors of others. I do this with the hope that I can help others to become better at what they do. Not to be little them but to assist them. It is my hope that others will correct my shortcomings in a manner that is both kind and supportive.

    To this end the following:

    Atheism, properly understood, is no mere disbelief; is in no wise a cold, barren negative; it is, on the contrary, a hearty, fruitful affirmation of all truth, and involves the positive assertion of action of highest humanity.” -- Charles Bradlaugh, "A Plea for Atheism," Humanity's Gain from Unbelief (1929)

    ( is in no wise a cold) Is this correct or should this be "is in no way a cold"

    I have this only mind I shall ever be granted by the biological fact of my parents sexual relationship with one another.

    I just don’t under stand what you are trying to say.


    There is nothing wrong with complaining but doing so will probably not change the condition. If you don’t like something and you cannot change it then you will have to learn to live with it. If you can change it then do so. People would prefer to see you whip a dead horse than to hear you complain about the horse not pulling the wagon.

    Do something but don’t whip a dead horse and don’t complain. You have to care about yourself most other people won’t.

    Now beat on me. I’m use to it. You will feel better if you do and isn’t that what we all want. To feel better that the other person.

  3. Actions speak louder than words of luck to you and your life!

  4. It sounds like you are struggling with the same demons as I. It's like being caught between wanting the world to be better and not making it seem you are the only one in the know. You want to point out things that seem unjust but don't want to pass judgement or be intolerant. It's a fine line. I think that the fact we realize how fine the line is means we are moving in the right direction. Or maybe I don't get it at all but I think I do.
    Lova Ya Dude

  5. I love this post! Honestly, I wish I could let my students read it but they are so young that most of it would be lost on them.


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