A Conversation with, um, God?

Thanks to a suggestion from Rockstar, I took it upon myself to initiate a conversation with His Noodly Magnificence. (Methinks He was dippin' in the dinner-Port a little early this morning...)

My Conversation with God(?)

Me:
Yo Dawg! What's the haps???

God:
Are you really a ""? I have never been asked that before.

Me:

a " "? I've been questionable most of my life. Why do you mention it?

God:
A B C... Where were you questionable most of your life? I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?

Me:

Hhhmmm... You gots an int'trestin' communication style big guy.


God:
Do you prefer books or TV? Thanks for telling me: said I gots an int trestin communication style big guy.

Me:

Uhh... Books doG. How 'bout you?


God:
That's cool. Perhaps you are a Category C client. Dog: Domesticated animal, "man's best friend." . Me?

Me:

Yah. Books or TV?


God:
Blimey. Which show? Perhaps you are a Category C client. I like watching Star Trek.

Me:

Hhhmmm... Trek is cool. I bet you're a Kirk fan though; not Pickard or Janeway. ??


God:
Are you a man or a woman? I'm not sure if I like it. I've heard other people say they like that. I like . Oh. Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Kirk fan? Maybe. Oh I get it.

Me:
You been drinkin' boss? Got yer Noodly Appendages all dipped in the wine glass maybe... ??


God:
Interesting gossip: said I been drinkin boss. Try asking the Milk Mystic.

Me:

Milk Mystic? You mean the twisted cretin who modified mammalian sweat glands to produce nourishment for their young? OK. Where is It?

God:
What time is it there? Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear? Take it easy. It depends on what "it" refers to.

Me:
The Milk Mystic: where is It so I can ask it ... uh, hhhmmm... on 2nd thought; nevermind.


God:
Who told you that? Are you kidding? hhhmmm said . uh, hhhmmm.? What is it like on 2nd thought. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:

Hows the wife? Mrs. God I mean...


God:
it is the same as ever. That is a very original thought.

Me:

riiight... OK. Hey. It's been great talkin' with ya. I gots to be gettin' back to work now though.


God:
Let us change the subject. What would you like to talk about? Can I help you? riiight was great talkin with ya? Very interesting. Oh. Right now? Why?: said gots to be gettin back to work.

I figure I just caught him at a bad time...

Comments

  1. Me:
    MBains thinks you've had a bit to drink today.
    God:
    Ah. MBains must be very smart.
    Me:
    Quite right Big Guy. You're drunk, then?
    God:
    Not really that much. Understood. Compare that to small Guy. I will tell my botmaster you said I am drunk.
    Me:
    What do you drink?
    God:
    I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
    Me:
    So what did you drink today?
    God:
    Ah. Yippee! Nothing.
    Me:
    But you just said you're drunk...
    God:
    No I am sober.
    Me:
    Then why is MBains so smart?
    God:
    Why do I exist?
    Me:
    You don't.
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: said I don t.
    Me:
    Later God
    God:
    GOD rules.

    I love it. I've been playing with it all day whilst on the phone @ work...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Me:
    But you just said you're drunk...
    God:
    No I am sober.
    Me:
    Then why is MBains so smart?
    God:
    Why do I exist?
    Me:
    You don't.


    I think that, as a born-again theist, that part should worry me but...

    naaaahhhh...

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are a strange character. I think that is why I keep coming around...smiles

    Soft love,
    T

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! {sigh}

    Thanks T! I can no more be less of a strange one than I could be a believer or a prettier silly human; not even if I tried.

    If I could then I think I might try any of those things. Well, "been there - done that" with the believer thing... Unfortunately (I s'pose) the reality of observing while believing proved to be about as accurate as it is when mercifully(lessly?) stoned, so I'm sticking with actual reality. ;}

    ReplyDelete
  5. Was that a real vision or did you just make it up?

    ReplyDelete

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